Time Warp
by Musicial Spork
Summary: The Cullens get a time traveling necklace and vist a bunch of other stories. Nessie is a PETA activist! Super bad @ summaries. First FF! I"M LOOKING FOR A CO-WRITER FOR THIS STORY, PM ME IF INTERESTED!
1. Uhh what just happened?

**Disclaimer: Mauwhaha I have stolen Twilight!**

**Alice: Give it back or I get to dress you up!**

**Disclaimer: Ahhhh here you can have back Alice just don't make me play dress up please!**

* * *

"**Nessie, its time to get dressed for your first day of school," called Alice. "Okay, coming Aunt Alice," called Nessie. Nessie threw the covers off and jumped out of her bed and ran to Alice's closet. She saw Alice with 9 different outfits picked out and was picking out more. "Aunt Alice, stop you have way too many outfits picked out already," Nessie said. "Nessie, not all of them are for you. Some of them are for your mother to wear," said Alice. "Good luck on getting her to agree to that," said Nessie with a smirk. **

"**Getting me to agree with what?" called Bella from her and Edward's room. "Umm Mom come over to Aunt Alice's closet and you'll see" called Nessie. "Kay, coming" called Bella. As she said that a giant portal opened up in Alice's closet. "Um Aunt Alice, what did you do now!" screamed Nessie. "Nothing, Emmet must of done some weird ritual again!" screamed Alice. Bella walked in with Esme and Rosalie tagging along behind her, and when she saw the portal she screamed "What the heck is that Alice!"**

"**Um, I'm not really sure, I think its something Emmet did!" screamed Alice.**

"**EMMET" screamed Rosalie. All the guys came running dragging Emmet along with them. "EMMET WHAT **_DID_** YOU DO" shrieked all the girls. "Nothing, just said a few lines out of this weird little book," said Emmet very calmly. Suddenly, a hand shot out of the portal and dropped a necklace with a rather large amethyst with a note attached to it. "Emmet, that is my magic book, you called forth the Mother of Time," said Carlisle. "Oh is that good or bad," said Emmet. "Extremely bad Emmet," said Carlisle.**

* * *

**Ohhh! Cliffy, I know this is the worst ever fanfic but no flames! Its my very first attempt at writing a story. So please no flames. **

**Review=preview of next chappie **

**so sorry for the short chappie  
**

* * *

_**---------- **_


	2. Lets do the time warp!

Going to try and make this a longer chapter.

By the way if your wonder why I'm not short handing everything its because I'm writing this for English class and my teacher won't let me shorthand.

So please bear with me.

Disclaimer: Dam pixie made me give Twilight back. Well I'll show her. I'm going to steal it from right under Stephanie Meyer's nose! (Evil laughing)

Alice: Stupid author should know by now that I can see the future.

_

* * *

_

"_**Well how are we going to fix this," stated Edward.**_

"_**Always the practical one huh?" said the necklace.**_

"_**AHH, WHAT THE HECK, DID THE NECKLACE JUST TALK," screamed everyone with surprise.**_

"_**Yes, as a matter of fact, I did just talk," stated the necklace serenely.**_

"_**And by the way, my name is Emerald," said Emerald. **_

" _**Yup, the necklace just talked," said Esme and promptly fainted.**_

"_**Ugg my name is Emerald," said Emerald. "Emerald is a space traveling device," said Carlisle.**_

"_**Thank you Carlisle," said Emerald.**_

" _**Umh, Carlisle," said Jasper and Edward tapping Carlisle on the shoulders. "Yes," said Carlisle. **_

"_**Esme fainted," said Jasper and Edward at the same exact time.**_

"_**Her thoughts are very strange, Carlisle," Edward said with concern filling his voice. **_

"_**Her emotions are like none I've ever felt before," said Jasper as he was trying to tear his hair out. **_

"_**Well that's unusual we're not supposed to faint," said Carlisle with the utmost calm. **_

"_**Well what are we going to do Carlisle?" asked Edward. **_

"_**Well I'm not exactly sure, Edward, but I have a friend in New Jersey who might be able to help us," said Carlisle. **_

"_**TO THE CARS," shouted Emmet.**_

"_**No Emmet, TO THE AIRPORT," shouted Alice. **_

"_**HEY SHUT UP AND LISTEN," shouted Emerald.**_

"_**WHAT," shouted everybody at Emerald.**_

"_**Well I can transport ya'll to New Jersey," said Emerald. **_

"_**Well why didn't you just say that in the first," demanded Bella the annoyance showing through her voice. **_

"_**Hey stupid girl, I was trying to but you guys kept interrupting me," said Emerald. **_

"_**Hey don't you talk to my wife like that!" yelled Edward at Emerald. "Whatever, let's go now," said Emerald. As she said that a portal opened up in Alice's closet door and sucked up everyone.**_

_

* * *

_

_**Oh my another cliffy! Oh well. So yeah kind of small.**_

_**NO FLAMES!**_

_**Review PLEASE!**_


	3. The Crazy Barn

_**Alice: The author of this Fanfic will never own Twilight. Shout out to CharmedandTwilight31!**_

_**(During this whole chapter the song 'Time Warp' from 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' is playing in the background.)**_

_

* * *

_

_**(APOV)**_

_**Wow, I so didn't see this coming! Oh pretty colors! That color right there would be perfect for Nessie's homecoming gown. I can see it now; it will have halter straps and a skirt to the knees. It will be fabulous! **_

_**(EmPOV)**_

_**What is this? Its so funny looking! I really like this song, it's so catchy. **_

_(__**CPOV**__)_

_**Oh, God no please no! Not THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW! **_

_**(EdPOV)**_

_**Wow talk about some strange thoughts. I wonder what The Rocky Horror Picture Show is, and why Carlisle is so afraid of it!**_

_**(BPOV)**_

_**{Silence}**_

_**(RPOV)**_

_**Well this is certainly very weird!**_

_

* * *

_

_**The portal suddenly spits them out in House M.D's world in his office.**_

_

* * *

_

"_**What the hell?" screams House.**_

"_**Hi, we're the Cullens & we need your help." said Carlisle.**_

"_**With what?" asks House.**_

"_**Well our mom fainted," said Bella.**_

"_**Wait, are you trying to tell me she's the mom of all of you, because that is so not possible," said House.**_

"_**Well, she's not their biological mother, their all adopted," said Carlisle.**_

"_**Wait a second, did you say Carlisle Cullen?" asked House with barely veiled curiosity.**_

"_**Yes, I did," said Carlisle with the utmost pride.**_

"_**So you're like the great, great, great, great grandson of our founder?" asked House incredulously.**_

"_**Yes," replied Carlisle.**_

"_**Ok so what's weird about your mom fainting?" asked House humor tinting his voice.**_

_**(Alice having a vision.)**_

"_**Just tell him he's gonna find out any way," said Alice weakly.**_

"_**Tell me what?" asked House.**_

"_**Well we're vampires, but we're not your run of the mill Hollywood kind," said Carlisle patiently.**_

"_**Nurse we need nine beds in the crazy barn, can you call and make the arrangements for me?" said House pushing down a button on his phone.**_

"_**Yes ," said the nurse.**_

"_**Call the nurse back and cancel that order, Dr. House," yelled Alice at House.**_

"_**Why should I?" yelled House right back at her.**_

"_**Because you will want to hear my offer," said Alice with a concerned expression on her face.**_

"_**Well let's hear this offer then," said House with a smirk.**_

"_**You have severe pain in your right knee, and we don't feel any pain," stated Alice.**_

"_**Ok so, how does that affect me," asked House with curiosity showing plainly on his face.**_

"_**You get turned into one of us," stated Alice as if it was a no brainer.**_

"_**You people really are mental," said House.**_

"_**Dr. House I'm a doctor myself and I can assure you my family is not mental," said Carlisle with a hint of steel in his voice.**_

"_**Oh my gosh, that is disgusting," screamed Alice out of the blue.**_

"_**Why you sick bastard, that's my daughter you were thinking about," screamed Edward like a sissy.**_

"_**Hey, I didn't know she was anyone's kid," squeaked House. **_

"_**Ok, that is so not right Dr House. She's only 6 years old," yelled Bella as she went for his neck.**_

"_**Well, guess he's a vampire now," stated Carlisle solemnly.**_

"_**We need to leave right now," squeaked Alice.**_

"_**Back to the Laboratory," giggled Nessie.**_

"_**Nessie, how many times do I have to tell you my office is not a lab," gritted Carlisle.**_

_

* * *

_

_**Oh Cliffy!**_

_**Ok, I think this is my longest chapter to date so I hope you liked it.**_


	4. Truth or Dare!

**Disclaimer: Twilight is mine! **

**Alice: No, it's not, give it back right now.**

**DIsclaimer: Awh, do I have to?**

**Alice: Yes!**

**Disclaimer: Or what!**

**Alice: Barbie time!**

**Disclaimer: NO please no, here you can have it!**

* * *

**(A/N: House is now a vampire)**

**(HPOV)**

**"I know your awake," said Alice.**

**"How do you know for sure," asked House meanly.**

**"We can't sleep," said Alice.**

**"WHAT?" yelled House.**

**From somewhere in the backyard Nessie says "You better run for your life!"**

**"Wait, why can I hear her so well?" asked House completely confused.**

**{A/N: Never thought you'd see that did you?}**

**"Drum roll, please!" chirped Alice.**

**Emmet plays the drums on something in the house while Esme yells at him.**

**"You now have the power of super hearing" said Alice in her best announecr's voice.**

**"Are you sure you guys aren't crazy?" asked House.**

**"Once again, MY FAMILY IS NOT CRAZY!" yelled Carilsle from his laboratory.**

**(Carisle/N: MY STUDY IS NOT A LABORATORY!)**

**(A/N: Just to let you guys have a hint at future chapters, Carilse goes crazy for want of a normal family. !)**

**(CPOV)**

**"Why, can't I have a normal family?" asks Carisle to himself.**

**"Cuz, your vampires," says Emerald out of nowhere.**

**"You have a point," said Carilse.**

**(BPOV)**

**"I'm BORED!" yelled Bella.**

**"Soo?" asked Emmet.**

**"FAMILY MEETING! NOW!" sang Bella in her best opera voice.**

**"Bella, love why are you singing opera?" Edward asked Bella**

**"Cuz, I'm just cool like that!" screamed Bella doing jazz hands.**

**"Bella, that is such a good plan!" squealed Alice.**

**"What's the plan?" screamed Emmet.**

**"Truth or Dare!" Chriped Bella in a sing song voice.**

* * *

**I know I'm soo EVIL (insert evil laugh) to leave it at a cliffy!**

**Sorry it so long for me to update.**

**Review= Jasper,Edward, or Emmet replying! (please specify!)**


	5. Vampire Duck

**Disclaimer: Wah! Will Twilight ever be mine?**

**Alice: NO!**

**Sorry it took so long to get this up I've been having major computer problems.**

* * *

**(Third person POV)**

**"BRANDI, WHERE ARE YOU?" screamed Nessie.**

**"Nessie, who's Brandi?" Carlisle asked Nessie.**

**"My duck," replied Nessie.**

**"Why do you have a duck sweety?" asked Bella coming into the room.**

**"Cuz, I'm cool like that!" exclaimed Nessie doing jazz hands.**

**"Hey, only Jasper is allowed to do jazz hands!" screamed Alice coming down the stairs.**

**"Nah uh, he said I could do them to!" screeched Nessie in reply.**

**"Somebody call for me?" asked Brandi waddling into the house.**

**"WTF, IS THAT A TALKING DUCK!" yelled Emmet racing down the stairs.**

**"No, Emmet it's a talking vampire duck!" Squeled Nessie running over to Brandi and hugging her.**

**"Is that even't possible?" asked Edward coming in from hunting with the rest of the family.**

**"I'm not sure," said Carlisle.**

**"Nessie, where did you find this duck?" asked Esme.**

**"At a duck hang out duh!" replied Nessie.**

**"Cool, can I get my own duck?" asked Emmet.**

**"No!" shouted everyone in union.**

**"Ah, why not?" whined Emmet.**

* * *

**Ok, I know super short but I've been really sick.**

**It really sucked all I did was sleep, go to skool, & eat saltine crackers!**

**Anyways REVIEW PLZ!**


End file.
